I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize