Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
