Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
