If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
