wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize