question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Couch. On fire.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
