apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize