Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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