he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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