I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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