It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Im part way to drunk.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
