At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
be right there i have to get my cape
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
