FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize