Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
