I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
