I feel great
I just peed on a car
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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