This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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