we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
