i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
