I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
