I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
