oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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