i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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