I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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