If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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