he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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