whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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