i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am available for nakedness
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
