therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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