The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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