If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
