I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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