There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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