Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
