I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
