Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize