Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
