I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
