ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize