she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
