arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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