mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize