508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
