Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He felt like a one man threesome
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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