Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
