We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
