I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
