I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How naked do you want me to be?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
