We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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