Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
