so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
