I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
