apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
