All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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