Pappa wants mamma naked
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
