He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
