All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I will die if light touches me.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
