hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
