I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
