someone get that fucking seahorse.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
