So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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