Don't you send me to vm
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
