you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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