Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
