dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
