i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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