Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
