how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize