she was so not down for the gang bang
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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