Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
