Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Thedeez14 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(206): View more from Washington

it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...

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(571): View more from Virginia

Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...

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(858): View more from California

I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.

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