After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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