Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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