I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
