p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
NoShamevember. You game?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
