Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
