Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
