everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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