just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
